[This blog post is rated A for Adult. If you are less than 18, don’t read]
[Spoiler Alert if you havent watched Game of Thrones or read Game of Thrones]
Previously, I had written about the first book of Game of
Thrones. Of course, spoiler alert if you haven't read the novels. Then again,
at this point, it’s almost impossible to avoid game of thrones spoilers.
However, I am a pretty smart guy (who occasionally takes dumb decisions) and
hence, have developed and mastered the art of avoiding game of throne spoilers.
Ah! Hope you do that.
Alright, so when the last book ended, things ended badly for
everybody who lives in the GOT world. You see, the main king who kept everybody
at bay is long dead (Robert). The one guy who was morally upright (which
translates to being an idiot) is also dead (Eddard Stark). Some moron is the
king now which is Joffrey, who is a complete idiot by the way. Then again, he
is 13, which explains a lot. Now, everybody is literally fighting everybody.
That's how the book starts. With everybody fighting everybody and everybody
themselves kings and trying to tell others that they are to yield.
This book is simply not good as the first one. I mean,
really. I kind of felt that the author and the publishers became greedy. I call
it the 'Order of the Phoenix' effect. Although 'Order of the Phoenix' from
Harry Potter help flesh out the story and characters, it seems like one big
'take that' to some principal that JK Rowling probably never liked. Seriously,
those who are new to Harry Potter can simply go from book 4 to book 6, and
really not miss anything. Book 6 starts at exactly where Book 4 ended, making
Book 5 of Harry Potter one big filler.
To me, this Clash of Kings was and is like that. It does not
do anything to any characters. In the first book, there was some really cool
characters. Like that Khal guy, that idiot but honor bound Eddard Stark and
another dumb guy which is Robert. These are all characters who were pretty
weird in their own way but they were interesting characters. When they died, it
was all very shocking and had massive impact on the story. For instance, if
Robert did not choose Eddard, none of the story would have happened. If Robert
himself did not die, there would be no game of thrones in the first place.
The thing with Clash of Kings is that, nothing really moves.
People who were searching for something to happen are still searching for
something to happen. That Danny woman got cool dragons in the last book. That
is awesome and totally badass. However, in this book, the dragons are literally
doing nothing. They are as dangerous as a windows virus on a mac computer.
Then, there are the lost daughters of Stark and they are both still where they
were previously. Then, the house of Winterfell which was in shambles is still
in shambles. The house of lannister is still where it was before. Some huge
battles happen and sure they are pretty well detailed, but no one of
Then, magic is introduced. Yes, magic! That source of magic
is never explained, and hence, we never find out what its limits are. Or, where
it comes from and why only works for some and not for others. How would one
defend magic? That is not mentioned either. In fact, there are points in the
story where 'artificial limits' are imposed so that magic won't clear out
entire battles in seconds. Then there is Jon Snow who is just as clueless as he
was about what he wants to do with his life. Does he want to return to his
family? Does he want to stay on the blacks? Then, there is the part where he
becomes a double agent. The only reason it works is because the other gang is
Then, there is food. There are times when the book just
becomes food and about food. The ending is just, well a non-ending. I am
reading and I am reading and I am reading...and dun...dun...dun..it's over. No
resolution for you, says Mr. Martin.
Anyway, the book, though not 'read again' material, helps
cement the positions of a variety of characters. Tyrion is by far the coolest
dude in the entire series and of course, he is the real hero in this book as
well. I fully expect him to continue to steal the limelight in the rest of the
series as well. Then, I have high hopes for arya stark, because she is secretly
turning out to be a ruthless badass. Other than that, I really want to see what
happens to the Lannisters. They are doing all kind of shady things, and they do
deserve some karmic blows for that. Of course, in the world of GOT, its
difficult to say who is good and who is bad. We make our alliances and see
where it goes.
Perhaps, that is why, I will move on to the next book. There
is simply so much happening and yes, some parts of the books are boring. I
mean, whenever the battle scenes happen or feasts happen, I just skip ahead and
read some Wikipedia to see if I missed something important. While Jon is a cool
character – with his constantly confused aims in life – his story moves slowly.
His group – the blacks – simply are taking way too much time to figure out who
is riling them up. His only achievement in the entire book is that he is now a
double agent. And he won't kill women. Still, it is clear that he is more of a
Stark than every other stark in the book. He may be a bastard but man, if only
he did not leave for the Blacks, Winterfell won't be as bad as it is now. He
probably left because his step mom is just pissed off with him. That is just
Then, there is the special case of Theon. This guy is just
made of stupidity. Really. Has he never played chess? You move fast and without
taking down the other pieces, you get rid of the queen. Sure, that is awesome.
However, after you have the queen, you still need to guard your location
because you don’t have a plan to take out the king, horse, camel and all the
other chess pieces. Seriously, is there anybody more foolish than him? I mean,
everybody around him knows he is useless. Then, he actually gives money to
another guy so he can buy his own army. Why god why!!!!!
In fact, if anything, the book just goes to show how stupid
people can be. Like those two brothers who would fight each other than gang up
against a seriously common enemy. I mean, everybody is talking about how their
brother's own wife is doing all kind of nasty things and did nasty things for
their own brother. Instead of marching towards that, they fight each other.
Then, there is Robb Stark and his mom, who are trying to conquer the world but
leave their own home unguarded and with a disabled prince no less. Then, the
Lannisters who are busy conspiring against each other instead of the others who
are coming after them. Or, why did they not think their plan through before
they screwed things up.
If not for anything, at least to see how stupid the starks
can get...how stupid the lannisters can get..and even more stupid theon greyjoy
can get. Hopefully, people will grow a little common sense in the next book.
Also hopefully, the next book actually gets the characters around instead of
keeping them where they are.